Micah 6:8

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does YHVH require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God."

Monday, September 22, 2008

Checking in...

I am feeling so much better and I think in part it is due to the change of seasons. I love the fall. Everything starts up agin and I no longer feel alone. Not that I am ever alone but I am far more involved with people in the fall. Bible studies begin, school groups start, we are away from the house more in the fall then we are in the summer. I LOVE my home but I love to be out with other people sometimes too.
I have not released any weight this week but that is okay. I have managed to eat within 0-5 the majority of my meals and I am rejoicing over that. Over the past week I have been reflecting on my plateau and I have come to realize that I have been placing far to much importance on exercise. I was doing so much exercise during my plateau and was becoming discouraged in the fact that I was not releasing weight. Unfortunately I was relying on physical activity for weight loss and not God. During the week that I finally released weight again I had actually cut my exercising in half. I am still exercising, but I am not so focused on it to provide my weight loss. I am once again in the place of surrender to God for my weight release. It feels good to be back.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Hello

I realize it has been a VERY LOOOOONG time since I have shown my face and for that I am sorry. I feel as though I have been going through a slump. A season of down-ness (is that even a word?). I have kind of been hiding or hibernating from everyone and everything. I have not only let this blog slip, I have been distant with friends and with my thinwithin eating and as sad as it is I have been distant from God. Please don't get me wrong, I am still so deeply in LOVE with God but it is kind of like He has become an old friend I rarely talk to. You know the ones, the friend who is always there for you and when you talk it is like you never stopped but keeping up with them day to day has fallen by the wayside. I am at a place now where I want that to change. I need it to change. I am no longer satisfied to be close yet distance friends I want to be inseparable.
We will be inseparable.
I think in part my distance has been a reflection of my eating, and my eating a reflection of my distance. I have been at a plateau for the past 6 weeks. It has been hard and unfortunately I have not come through it victoriously. Truthfully, during this plateau I turned into a very rebellious and stubborn and self-defeated whining brat.
At the beginning of the plateau, I was still so positive and optimistic. I believed that I would get through this. That God had a purpose and a plan for this and that if I would listen and dig in He would reveal himself to me through it. Unfortunately bu the thrid or fourth week of no weight change I started to drag my feet with resistance. I was becoming miserable and my eating was reflecting that. I am utterly schocked that during the past 2-3 weeks I have not gained weight. I was willfully overeating 3 weeks ago and I felt awful for it, physically and spiritually. Then 1 week ago today I decided that enough was enough. Since God had been faithful to me in my rebellion and not allowed me to gain weight, the least I could do was to eat according to His will and guidelines. Eating the way I knew was right, following thinwithin principles. I have not been following it 100% yet God has honoured my efforts and I am pleased to report that He has taken another 3 lbs from me.
I do not deserve the faithfulness He shows. I am humbled and grateful.
Lord, please forgive me.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Ugly-Beautiful

I just wanted to share something that has moved me to tears and made me think.
http://aholyexperience.com/2008/07/ugly-beautiful.html

Saturday, June 28, 2008

50%

Today officially marks the beginning of the end. I have, as of today, with the amazing help of God made it to my half way mark. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! I honestly do not know if the weight I have chosen for myself is the same as the weight as He has chosen for me but I am fairly confident that if I am wrong then His weight is less then mine.
When I started this journey in January I weighed 190 lbs. This is/was a huge weight for me. Growing up I was always naturally thin. I never weighed more then 125 lbs until I was over 20yrs of age. Being 5' 7.5" that is fairly thin. I ate like a horse. My metabolism was on super warp speed and as I approached my 24th birthday I weighed 140 lbs. This weight was very reasonable and in my head I looked very healthy and fit. I stayed this weight until I started to plan my wedding. It was a very stressful time as my wonderful DH was very much a mama's boy and being the baby in his family and the last to marry of four siblings, well, his mom had far TOO much say in our wedding day. Needless to say during the 6 months of planning I gained 32 lbs of fat. I maintained this weight until I became pregnant with my first son at the age of 27. After his birth I quickly became pregnant again with our second son and my weight stayed up. After all was said and done, I weighed in at 190 lbs. I maintained this weight never really fluctuating in the last 5 yrs at all. I had resolved after trying every diet known to man that I would remain this way the rest of my life and I was trying to wrap my head and heart around it. I did not like me very much. In my mind I still saw the healthy girl I was at 25 yet when I passed a mirror I would have to do a second take as what I saw in the glass was not who I saw in my mind. The last 5 yrs have been very difficult on me and my family. I battled with depression and was medicated for awhile. I believe it was all related to my weight, and the way I felt about myself because of it. Needless to say, January came around and as I was cleaning my basement I came across a book my mother had given my a few years earlier. I hadn't even looked at it as I knew it was for weight loss and I thought I was a hopeless cause. This time I picked up the book and started to read. The words coming from the pages gripped me in a way I hadn't felt for such a very long time and my journey with Thin Within had begun.
Has it been an easy journey, no. It is a very simple plan but after years of self defeat I have alot of emotional healing to work through and alot of bad habits I have to allow Him to break in me. That is what is so great about this program, He does the work, NOT me. I only need to listen and obey and He does the healing, restoration and transforming.
What an amazing transformation it is. In the past 6 months I have released 25 lbs, and lost a total of 14 1/4 inches.
God IS faithful and He WILL complete the work He has begun in me. Praise God!!!!!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Walking the Walk

I want to say sorry to all of you who read as I am finding I am terribly bad at staying up to date on this blog. I am full of good intentions but have not been finding the time to spend on the computer. What have I been doing with all the time I use to spend on the computer you ask?
I am walking. I am doing my Thin Within book study and I am reading my 30 day Walking the Walk. All of this adds up to alot of time on me and my relationship with God and not much time for computing. I will try to post at least once a week, I will try. I also want to add a spot on here to track my walking but I am not very computer savvy so it may take me some time to figure it out. For now I will share with you something that I was reading the other day that has me really thinking.....

Imagine you stop at a convenience store, buy a jumbo bag of potato chips, say grace in your car, then chow down on the entire bag. You'd feel pretty silly wouldn't you? Thanking God for the potato chips would feel false, because you know you were about to do something harmful to yourself- something God didn't want you to do. You may have plenty of reasons why you need to pound a bag of potato chips at that moment, but doing it for God is not one of them.
What if you really did do all your eating and drinking for the glory of God? What would your diet be like? It would be full of foods that would keep you healthy, because God wants us to be healthy so we can do His work.
Now, the question is, Why don't you always eat or drink for the glory of God? Could you? Should you? Would you benefit from doing so? What do you have to lose by trying?
Leslie Sansone Walking the Walk pg63

I think the reason I don't always eat the healthiest choices is because of habit. I KNOW that the healthy stuff tastes good and I enjoy it but the unhealthy stuff tastes good too. I believe that having the unhealthy stuff on occasion is not a problem. I do think for me though that I may need to give it up for a season as I am continually drawn to making bad food choices when the unhealthy stuff is readily available. I will purposely eat less so I can have the sugary sweet dessert. I know how bad sugar can be for my health and yet I want it. I need to decide if my wanting it is taking away from my walk with God. Not that having dessert is a sin. It is not. Hear me on this, BUT for me I am choosing to put something (dessert) above God. And that is what the Bible calls an idol. So for me at this moment in time having dessert is a sin because of the value I am placing on it. Make sense? I know that I will benefit from this, as when I eat alot of sugar I tend to get headaches and become extremely tired.
This is my goal, to give up sweets. For how long I am not sure. I will pray about it but I can say with confidence that it will most likely be for a very LONG time as they have a very strong hold on me.
I want the hold of sweets to become the hold of God.

Friday, June 13, 2008

40 day follow-up

Well, lets just say that some of it was good, some was bad and some fell somewhere in between. Overall, in the big picture it was a great 40 days. I found alot of new online buddies who are travelling the same path as myself. I joined an online support group that lasts for the remainder of the summer. And I even started to exercise. Not everyday but much more then I had been. My live online group meets once a week on Wed. nights and it is great. We are going through the 12 week workbook together. I think this is very important for me to have a group to do it with. When I try to go at it alone I usually give up quickly. So I have committed to read the chapter every week and do the daily lessons that go along with it. On top of that I have just discovered Leslie Sansone. She has a whole in home walking program called walk away the pounds. I have been doing her videos for the past 10 days and I LOVE them, I have been borrowing them from my local library. I love them so much that I ordered her book called Walking the Walk getting fit with faith. It comes with a DVD that has a 1 mile and 2 mile walk on it. The book is broken down into 30 days it has scripture readings, meditations, health and fitness info and lots more for everyday. There is a place to journal your progress and what activity you did daily. I am really excited to add this to my Thin-Within workbook as I feel it will compliment it nicely. I will let you know in 30 days how the walking is going. I will start the walking on Monday so July 16th will be the 30 day mark, if I walk everyday. I may take the weekends off. I will let you know as I do it.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

The day after....

Well, I don't have anything exciting to share with you all. I guess God had other plans.
NO ONE even noticed that I had released 20lbs since they last saw me. I was saying to Lévis on our way home that I didn't even care that they hadn't noticed. Now for those of you who know me well, that is HUGE. Normally I would be really upset if someone didn't notice that I had lost weight, cut my hair, had something new on. BUT I really wasn't bothered. I guess God had something different to teach me. It wasn't how to share Him with others, (I am sure that will come later) But for right now He wanted me to be happy with me, because of Him. NOT because of what other people thought about me. Not because of them noticing the weight I have lost. He wanted me to be content in knowing that I did this for Him and not for the approval of men.
WOW! I honestly didn't see that coming. Here I was so worried over what to say, how to respond when they noticed me and all the while God was wanting me to just notice Him.
Thank you Jesus, that I got it. I was happy and content knowing that this is about You and Me. No one else 's opinion matters. Yeah!!!
For all of you who had me in prayer, I am sure that is part of the reason that I responded so differently then I would have in the recent past. So thank you.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Called to give an account

I am faced with a hard decision this coming weekend and I am asking for anyone that reads this to please keep me in prayer. I will be with family at a reunion of sorts, an Anniversary party to be exact. The people involved for the most part are non-believers and have asked that my husband and myself refrain from talking about God or religion when we are with them. As difficult as this has been I know that it is about to become much harder.
Then ONLY reason I have lost any weight is because of God's faithfulness to me and my obedience to Him. When I am asked about my recent weight release I pray that I will have the boldness to give an account that gives God the glory He deserves. I did not release this weight because of my own good fortune or will. I lost it because of a brokenness before the throne of God. I pray that this recent weight release will be a stepping stone that will allow me to share the gospel with them. even if not now that it will at least open the door for me to share about my growing relationship with God.
So, if I happen to pop into your mind over the weekend would you please say a little prayer for me?

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Memories

The memory is etched in my mind as though it happen only yesterday.
In fact it took place nearly 18 years ago. My family was gathered in our living room on a Sunday afternoon, watching one of my favourite movies, Yentl.
Near the beginning of the movie a scene between Yentl and her father takes place in which her father prays while Yentl kneels on the ground in front of him. His words are as follows.
"Hear me oh Lord. Master of the universe. Thou has given me a daughter who brings me great pride and pleasure, and for this kindness I thank thee forever and ever."
At this point my father reaches over to me, puts his hand on my knee and says," You're my Yentl."
I will never forget the way that moment made me feel, the way it still makes me feel. I am trying hard to compare it to how I feel about my own children. They are my pride and pleasure. I love to watch them play with each other. When they laugh I find myself laughing and when they cry, oh how it breaks my heart. I can't even begin to imagine how my heavenly father feels about me.
I know in my head. I have been taught. I have read. I have studied. I thought I knew HOW MUCH MORE He loved me and then something amazing happened.
I had children of my own.
Everyone, tells you having children changes your life. I agree. It does, but more then that it changes your relationship with God. How can it not. No longer are you simply a child, longing for a father's approval. You are now a parent lavishing your child with love and adoration. Everything about your relationship with God changes the moment you become a parent.
Your love and understanding of everything He did for you, is doing for you, becomes so much more profound.
With this new found realization comes a need for change as well. How often do we correct our children? We repeat the same directions to them over and over. We silently question to ourselves, "when will they get."
I shudder to think of the times my God has had to say those same words about me.
"When will she get it."
I have gotten it in so many areas, yet there is always somewhere else where I just fall, or stumble a little. In regards to eating I go through this almost hourly. The whole cycle, am I really hungry, have I had enough, am I eating for fuel or out of fleshly desires. How long will God continue to correct me? How many times will he have to question to Himself, "when will she get it."
I know He will continue as long as there is a need.
My prayer is that the need would be replaced with victory.

Monday, May 19, 2008

ThinWithin

Just wanted to share a video link that explains alittle bit more of the journey I am on...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIDTadjHziw&feature=user

Friday, May 16, 2008

Confessing Scripture

I found a scripture confession that you can use before meals to help you to not over-eat.
What could be more powerful in your attempt to release weight then confessing the word of God? Nothing!
So here it is if you feel led to use it please do. I think I may print it out and keep it at my spot at the kitchen table until I have it memorized :0)
I don't desire to eat so much I become overweight (stay overweight). I present my body to God, my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, which dwells in me. I am not my own, I am bought with a price therefore, in the name of Jesus I refuse to over-eat. Body settle down, in the name of Jesus and conform to the word of God. I put to death the desires of this body and command it to come into line with the word of God.
(Romans 12:1, 1 Corinthians 6:19)

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Who I Am In Christ

I am accepted...

John 1:12
I am God's child.

John 15:15
As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:1
I have been justified.

1 Corinthians 6:17
I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
I have been bought with a price and I belong to God.

1 Corinthians 12:27
I am a member of Christ's body.

Ephesians 1:3-8
I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.

Colossians 1:13-14
I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.

Colossians 2:9-10
I am complete in Christ.

Hebrews 4:14-16
I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.


I am secure...

Romans 8:1-2
I am free from condemnation.

Romans 8:28
I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.

Romans 8:31-39
I am free from any condemnation brought against me and I cannot be separated from the love of God.

2 Corinthians 1:21-22
I have been established, anointed and sealed by God.

Colossians 3:1-4
I am hidden with Christ in God.

Philippians 1:6
I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me.

Philippians 3:20
I am a citizen of heaven.

2 Timothy 1:7
I have not been given a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.

1 John 5:18
I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.



I am significant...

John 15:5
I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life.

John 15:16
I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.

1 Corinthians 3:16
I am God's temple.

2 Corinthians 5:17-21
I am a minister of reconciliation for God.

Ephesians 2:6
I am seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm.

Ephesians 2:10
I am God's workmanship.

Ephesians 3:12
I may approach God with freedom and confidence.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.

"The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior will begin to reflect your true identity!"(From Victory Over the Darkness , by Dr. Neil Anderson)

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Sin's Tattoo

I saw it today as I was getting dressed.
It wasn't large, but it was there. Sin's tattoo.
How do I know what it was?
I know because I inevitably put it there. By choice you ask?
Upon reflection, YES! At the time was I aware of what I was doing?
To some extent, but not completely. This tattoo is as permanent as one I would receive if I used ink and a needle. It will forever be a reminder to me of sinful choices I made while living in rebellion. Am I glad to have it on my body?
Absolutely not. Would I like it removed?
Of course. Yet, I am glad to see it. I am glad because of what it now represents. For if I was still living in sin it would not be as visible as it is now.
Perhaps you would like to know what this tattoo looks like. It is a very familiar thing. Lots of people have this tattoo and for very many different reasons. Some reasons for it are not related to sin, mine however is. My tattoo is from overeating and lack of exercise.
You probably know this tattoo by another name - stretch mark. Yes, my tattoo is a stretch mark. Not one but many. The beauty of it is that I can now see physically the changes that have been taking place in my heart. For if I had not submitted my will and diet to God, then this mark, this tattoo would still be hidden just under the surface of my skin. Now, because of obedience it is growing, and visible. It may sound backwards to some but the fact that it is becoming larger is a reflection of how much closer I am becoming to God. As more and more of these tattoos come to the surface and become visible it will be a physical reminder to me of where I once was and how far I have come.
So today, I am thanking God for my stretch marks, for sin's tattoo has now become a symbol of spiritual growth.

Exercise Challenge

So today I got a brilliant idea.
I thought to myself, hey why don't I walk up and down my stairs for 20 mins a day for my cardio workout.
Easy right? HA HA HA!
I barely made it to 5 mins. It is pure torture. My legs were burning, I was so out of breath and I was sweating, after ONLY 5 mins.
Do I plan to do this agin?
YES!
Hopefully if I do 5 mins 3x a week then I will be able to increase my time slowly. If you have stairs in your house why don't you too try walking them for 20 mins. LOL!
Okay start with 5 :0)

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Chocolate :)

Yeah I know, you are thinking I thought she was trying to eat healthy and release some weight. She is.
Seriously, she is BUT at that time of the month there is nothing as comforting as a warm cup of tea and chocolate melting on your tongue. Seriously. I know you are all imagining it now. It is so yummy and so satisfying and well so addicting that how could you stop at one square? I can't and that is my problem. I know. I can call it whatever I want but the fact of the matter is, it is a stronghold and there is no other name for it but SIN. Yes I said it. My caving in and over eating, chocolate or anything else for that matter is nothing more then sin. Is sin resolved by will power. NO!
There is only one cure for sin, only one remedy and that is Jesus. If I want to overcome my bad habits of overeating I need to be willing to confess them for what they are. I need to be willing to submit my will and my diet into the hands of the Almighty.
Why?
Because He cares for me. Not only about my salvation but about my health and well-being. My body is the temple of His Holy Spirit and as such I need to treat it with the respect it deserves. Is this an easy task?
I wish it was. In theory it should be. Yet I find myself stumbling everyday with the choices I make on what I allow into this temple. That is why I am so thankful that I have a Father, a God who is so forgiving and so compassionate that each time I fall He is there to pick me back up.
He lifts my face, looks into my eyes and cradles my chin. As tears of repentance roll down my face He whispers into my ear and strokes my hair, I forgive. Those are the words on His lips to me. I forgive.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Exercise

Okay this may not look like much BUT it really works, http://www.pycfitness.com/admin/uploadpic/20073260442353589.jpg It is an Easy Shaper. I bought it almost 5 yrs ago to get in shape for over $100.00. I used it once maybe twice. Good intentions but no follow through. However in the past 2 weeks I have pulled it out and dusted it off and have actually used it. It is great. So very easy and it works. You will feel the burn. I can't wait to see results, but I am for sure feeling them. The kicker is if I had waited till now to buy it I could get it for $29.99 just down the street from my house.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Thin Within

For those of you who do not know what Thin Within is, I encourage you to check out their website at www.thinwithin.org For starters Thin Within is a Grace based approach to lasting weight loss. They have been around since the early 70's. I will quote from their book... Thin Within is a non-diet, grace-oriented approach to weight loss. It involves no calorie or fat gram counting, nor weighing or measuring of food. Thin Within teaches how to choose wisely when eating a variety of foods in response to the natural God-given signals of hunger and satisfaction. As a result, participants eat less food and naturally melt down to the size that God intended. Success is not in following food rules, but rather in experiencing the transforming power of God's grace which empowers individuals to live the abundant life in Christ.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Losing it....

Ok, I think this is going to be the place where I put to paper what I am struggling with regarding weight, diet, exercise. I am making a decision to eat right and exercise for the next 40 days. After that I will hopefully re-commit for another 40 days but lets just start off slow. I will be following the program by ThinWithin. If you haven't heard of them check them out online. I read the book and did the 30 day devotionals and lost 13 lbs. I am now going to start the next phase of my journey with the next set of books. A journal and workbook that lasts for the next 12 weeks. Yes I know that is more then 40 days I can do the math I will just do it until my 40 days are up and then hopefully it will be so much a part of me I will just continue. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit so I am hoping that regular exercise will become a habit as well.