I realize it has been a VERY LOOOOONG time since I have shown my face and for that I am sorry. I feel as though I have been going through a slump. A season of down-ness (is that even a word?). I have kind of been hiding or hibernating from everyone and everything. I have not only let this blog slip, I have been distant with friends and with my thinwithin eating and as sad as it is I have been distant from God. Please don't get me wrong, I am still so deeply in LOVE with God but it is kind of like He has become an old friend I rarely talk to. You know the ones, the friend who is always there for you and when you talk it is like you never stopped but keeping up with them day to day has fallen by the wayside. I am at a place now where I want that to change. I need it to change. I am no longer satisfied to be close yet distance friends I want to be inseparable.
We will be inseparable.
I think in part my distance has been a reflection of my eating, and my eating a reflection of my distance. I have been at a plateau for the past 6 weeks. It has been hard and unfortunately I have not come through it victoriously. Truthfully, during this plateau I turned into a very rebellious and stubborn and self-defeated whining brat.
At the beginning of the plateau, I was still so positive and optimistic. I believed that I would get through this. That God had a purpose and a plan for this and that if I would listen and dig in He would reveal himself to me through it. Unfortunately bu the thrid or fourth week of no weight change I started to drag my feet with resistance. I was becoming miserable and my eating was reflecting that. I am utterly schocked that during the past 2-3 weeks I have not gained weight. I was willfully overeating 3 weeks ago and I felt awful for it, physically and spiritually. Then 1 week ago today I decided that enough was enough. Since God had been faithful to me in my rebellion and not allowed me to gain weight, the least I could do was to eat according to His will and guidelines. Eating the way I knew was right, following thinwithin principles. I have not been following it 100% yet God has honoured my efforts and I am pleased to report that He has taken another 3 lbs from me.
I do not deserve the faithfulness He shows. I am humbled and grateful.
Lord, please forgive me.